the next phase of life,
About me

Name:Mariam aka MJL
About you: Life is a journey and full of experiences awaiting for the soul to submerge and eventually triumph over obstacles.



|Xia Yan

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August 2008


Tuesday, March 25, 2008

( Repetition/cycle )

She has said why go for it
When you have no belief in it
There has been a thousand times
A repeat of these words of lines
It seems like; I have yet, to change to be, the one
I should have been.

It took me a thousand miles.. to understand
What goes in your mind? Chorus
The signs I have got I thought it is real
That’s when God proves me to be wrong
Making a sin is not my cup of tea
But I am born with it

Why…. can’t you accept the way… I am…. as I can be?
I have tried so hard to be
What I should be (When I am with you) Chorus
But a month ago, I thought it will be ok
Until you appear

I was wrong
I was lied
Being used by you
Making me a fool

Why did you said it when you don’t feel
Why make me wait when you have changed
Where was the promised you gave
About being forever
It was so foolish of me
To think you are the one

But she opened up my eyes
Once written, it cannot be erased
Hurt is hurt and it pains to the ridges
Why hide behind a crusade, when I know what you want
Yes…it is finally goodbye…..

I have got the inspiration to write this poem or whatever you call it from watching 'Spanglish'
when someone is so used to his/her world of pleasing others it is hard to make sense of what love, life and sacrifice really mean...

it is from how I perceived the characters and if any of you have watched that movie...leave a comment thanks

8:58 PM

Friday, March 07, 2008

( )

Let me look at you
Just for one last glance
Let me hold you tight
To make you feel alright
I do not want to hurt you
I do not want to make you feel pain
Yes, I know I used to be so but,
Let me make it up to you
Just for one last song

All I want is…let me be heard
See my story and
Feel my deepest fears
That all this while,
I hide it inside,
Don’t want you to see my weak part

Just an ordinary man to be what he should be
I guess I can’t control it anymore
But I was grown up to be so
You know, I punch it down real deep
Not wanting to know where it is placed

I guess my fist get to you
I don’t mean that to happen
I guess my hand slammed your cheek
I don’t mean that to happen

Let me look at you
Just for one glance
To hold you close to me
Let me hold you tight
To make me feel alright

It’s not easy for you
But look at me
I’m facing the four walls
Writing this to you

All I want is to be with you
To make you mine
And to hold you tight
To make we feel alright
Give me, one last look and
I will keep it in my heart
Give me one last smile
Before I’m send to see my angel
Give me one last gaze
So that I feel warmth
Even though it is cold here
All I keep now, is our memories

Not forgiveness that I am seeking
Acceptance that I am looking
Not sympathy that I want
But just love from you

Let me look at you
For one last time

MJL (girl In an Urban Jungle)

2:44 AM

Monday, March 03, 2008

( Doing much ado about everything )

I shall keep it cool
I shall keep it calm
I shall keep it really serene
I shall be myself
That’s my aim

3:44 AM

( )


My mama told me dreams can make you a person
She said that all I need is dream, and one day I know
Why she’s still here with me, just to comfort me.

Because she dreams to have me by her side
To be with me when the rain pours down on me
I am hers and she knows how I feel
But sometimes she keeps it to herself coz,
She wants me to be real, not a second of her brand
She wants me to fall, to know what pain is
To pick up from where I have left

As much as she is hurt, she knows that I can be strong
Coz, I’m hers and that will define who I am
She wants me to feel what it is like to dream
And maybe one day I know why she’s here with me

But I slip away the moment she is gone
‘Mama, Mama’, I used to call;
‘Mama, Mama’ now the ring is cut short
‘Mama, Mama’ where are you? What am I supposed to do now you’re gone
What were left were her voicemail and the empty space
On the left side of my bed,
I am my mama’s daughter to dream.

3:44 AM