the next phase of life,
About me

Name:Mariam aka MJL
About you: Life is a journey and full of experiences awaiting for the soul to submerge and eventually triumph over obstacles.



|Xia Yan

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Friday, May 26, 2006

( why love and get married? )

I was reading my friend’s blog when I realized that I have the same sentiment as her regarding marriage and love. It is true, why marry when you are happy with how things are and why people fall in and out of love?

Most of my friends are eager to get married and have kids perhaps they think that is how a life should go on, but is that the only route to a happy life; marriage? And even so someone say marriage completes a person life then why divorce? Looking at the increasing number of couples getting divorce is very frightening and very alarming. So why people still marry?

I guess there are several romantic reasons behind why people married

1) They believed a couple that is so intense loving each other should end up with a marriage, it is like completing their love book with a beautiful ending

2) If you are not getting married, people will label you, this is very typical in Asian society, they are called spinster, left on the shelf and not appetizing to the opposite sex.
Such a label is very dangerous as it may affect a person esteem, and to be accepted, a person must marry.

3) They feel that marriage is part of nature and we cannot advert or cease it to exist, so we go with the flow, people marry we marry, but most are not equipped with the understanding what constitutes a marriage.

The other question is why people fall in love? Sometimes I don’t know why people love to fall in and out of love, they say if you always fall in and out of love you gain more experience on how to handle the love affairs is that true? Most of my friends they fall in love through superficial reasons like “he is cute” “he is rich” “he drives a ford car” “he is good in bed” and “I love his smile”. Is that why people fall in love simply because you do not have what they have and when they have what you want, you instantly love them? That is so superficial. You just do not have what it takes to be rich, drive a ford car, not good at sex and not cute enough so your partner must fulfil your deficiencies is that love? So a love partner is someone that completes your handicapness, you fall in love to complete your deficiencies is that a good reason then to fall in love?

Do not fall in love if you feel lonely, because you are thinking about yourself rather than your partner. “I am lonely so I need company” such a reason is so wrong when you intend to love someone; you are simply incapable of filling your life with engaging activities so you need someone else to take charge?

Do not fall in love because you want physical intimacy like sex. It is true in love relationship, sex happen hand in hand but do you also want your relationship to be that way, to love just to do sex? You need to ask why sex has in a love relationship and if the answer is “to complete our love” that reason is invalid.

Do not fall in love when you feel pressured simply because your other friends are madly in love.

Be cool and compose and know that love between opposite sex is just one kind of love. You must remember that before you love someone else, the very important thing you need to do is to LOVE YOURSELF, and only when you feel comfortable, complete and caring then you are capable to love others. The first thing is to love your family, love your GOD ( if you have one) then love yourself and care for all of them before you embark on loving another one.

I am not advocating or hinting that bisexual or homosexual relationship are acceptable, well it is eventually up to the individual

Let me repeat please feel comfortable with yourself like with the way you look, you appears you sounds be comfortable with your feelings and physical appearance. A person who is comfortable with the way they are, are more likely to accept others deficiencies.

Be complete with education, knowledge and understanding of what is love. A person who is equipped with such skills are more likely to complement their partners.

Care for those around you, your family, your friends, and your pets(if you have them). if you feel a sense of care, you will feel a sense of responsibility towards their welfare, and you are able to feel commited to your love partner as well

So remember the 3cs

girl in an urban jungle

10:56 AM