the next phase of life,
About me

Name:Mariam aka MJL
About you: Life is a journey and full of experiences awaiting for the soul to submerge and eventually triumph over obstacles.



|Xia Yan

May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
December 2005
January 2006
March 2006
May 2006
September 2006
January 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
February 2008
March 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008


Thursday, June 09, 2005

( what the hell )

Ain’t it funny? One second there is laughter and the next tears start to flow down the cheeks. Life is weird and unpredictable. Thought of being happy but happiness is still a long way to ahead. The journey is too tedious that might as well forget about having it.

Just a second ago thought that smile may just be an indication of happiness but it was being robbed!

Just a while ago thought that joy is a great word to start the day, and then it was viciously killed

Seems like cynic will be in the house for some time and positive is in dormant position.

Maybe what Spiderman said is true-“sometimes to do what is right you have to give up the things that you want the most and that include your dreams.”

Do not know why just cannot let go of the past, the memories why?
Do not know what is actually being written ironically can’t seem to stop writing.
Do not know why but the heart feels so pain
Do not know why the flesh needs company
Do not know why everything seems awry

I am so sorry I have let you down.

11:52 PM

Sunday, June 05, 2005

( )

What’s the point?

What is the point of being the greatest swimmer in the world if you are not happy?
What is the point of being the number 1 in your field but you do not feel happy?
What is the point of scaling the Mount Everest if that is not your main aim?
What is the point of doing things if you are actually doing it to avoid something else?
So what if you get great praise for doing things?
The reason remains the same_ you are doing it to avoid facing another issue!

What is the point of achieving a lot of titles, awards, and trophies, the heart is unhappy still. Happiness is an important issue.

I live to be happy
I eat to be happy
I befriend to be happy

I am weak
I need allies
I am unhappy
I need laughter

It is useless to continue doing things that you are not happy with. It is useless to achieve big things but have no one to share it with. Both situations lead to the same question_ what’s the point?

It is of utmost important to do things that you like and not doing it just to satisfy the other party. Sometimes some of us do things to make our parents happy, our friends happy and our family happy, we keep on doing it just to see that smile from their faces and do not wish to hear their nagging, their worrying and their scolding. But for how long will you keep on doing that for others? Have you ever think about yourself? Stop sacrificing your own happiness for others happiness. Happiness does not come knocking at your door everyday. You have to grab it, do not let it go.

If you live for others what is the point of living?
If you are unhappy what is the point of living?
If you have no life of your own what is the point of living?

We live for ourselves and not for others.


12:17 PM

Friday, June 03, 2005

( Madagascar )

I went watching that movie with my cousins just now. It was really touching and so sweet.
The movie is about friendship and going through thick and thin together as friends.

This movie makes me shed tears and makes me realize that you must not give up on yourself no matter what the circumstances is.

The characters Alex (lion) was pampered throughout his life and never has to hunt. Instead he gets the utmost attention from the zookeeper and humans treat him like a king.
His life was not like living in the wild and he is not exposed to the cruelty of the world outside. He lived a sheltered life until one day his friend Marty (zebra) have this crazy idea to escape and run to the wild. Then story begins

I am not really amazed by the plot or the settings it is the characters that shines and make the movie stand out.

In dire situations, it reveals the true colors of a person and show simply whether a person is vicious by nature. Alex for example shows his nature by acting wild and even growl at his friends, a sign of anger and hunger. He himself was shocked at his whim behavior. He
isolates himself and does not wish to harm his good friends. He feels that he have become a killer and a very dangerous creature that could potentially harm his friends. This part of the story was the most touching part. It shows just how cruel life is an animal is created as food for another animals and the cycle just keep going on. If Alex wants to live he must eat his friends or else he would become weak.

However Marty never give up on Alex because he know Alex true nature and that he is not a wild and savage animal by nurture. By nature lions hunt and kill animals for food. But Alex is a different case. Only Marty can help Alex and indeed he did so.

The story tests the friendship bond between those creatures and whether their true friendship love will prevail. It is all about love and this kind of love is portraying by animals. It is a heart warming story with a strong motive

Then I start to think about whether I am a true friend and if I have found true friends, which depend I guess.

One thing for sure I have been dreaming about my friends these days…I miss them…you know who you are

2:08 AM